Why the TransJourney Documentary Is Important to Me.

It was about 16 months ago that I sat down with my cousin Deb Monuteaux and her partner Alexia Kosmider at a Denny's in Warwick, RI when they brought up the idea of making a documentary about our transgender daughter Annabelle, our friend Shannon and myself.  They had met Annabelle earlier the previous summer when she was visiting us.  The idea was that this documentary would show how being transgender should not be the only thing that defines you and that someone who is transgender is really no different than anyone else.  The fact that someone is transgender is just something that happened to them.  Some people have an eidetic memory, or like my daughter, have eyes that are 2 different colors.  Being transgender should be looked at no differently than those types of occurrences.

I want people to look at Annabelle and Shannon and see that they are not much different than who they were before they transitioned.  I say "not much different" because I believe they are better people than they were before they transitioned.  I know Annabelle is because I've seen it in how she carries herself and in her spirit. She is much happier, as though her soul is lighter and her head is clearer.  Yet she is still much the same as she was before.  She has the same interests she had before she transitioned; yet she's added new ones as well.  She also dresses nicer and phones her mother more often--both a significant improvement!

I only met Shannon through Annabelle after Shannon transitioned.  But I know she's in a much happier place living her life as the woman she always was meant to be.  I wish her family would understand and accept that Shannon, who I have "adopted" as the sister I never had, needed to live an authentic life. Shannon loves her family deeply and it hurts her greatly to feel so rejected by them.  If only they would bring her back into their lives, they could see how much she is still the same parent, just better!

In the past couple of years, I have since met a number of transgender people and parents of transgender youth, and nearly all of them say they or their children are so much happier after transitioning.  I say "nearly all" because some of them have not completely transitioned yet or have other issues impacting their lives as well.  It really hurts me to hear the stories of rejection and denial of parents when their child tells them they are transgender.  I find it difficult to understand how a parent, or other family member, could disown or disrespect and denigrate their own child or parent for just being transgender.

I am hoping that with this documentary film, we can educate people about what it means to live as a transgender person and help dispel the misinformation and eliminate the prejudice that exists towards those who are transgender or gender non-conforming.  I also want parents and family members to know how important it is to embrace and love their family member who has identified themselves as transgender.  They need your love and support even more at this time.

I don't know that this will be addressed in the film, but I would also like to dispel the myth of a gender binary that we all grew up with.  It's time that the concept of a gender binary goes the way of the concept that the earth is flat.  Maybe then everyone will finally accept that gender is more than just pink or blue.

Mother's Day Musings

Me with my two daughters, Sara and Annabelle last summer, July 2012.

It seems appropriate that I make my first blog entry about TransJourney on Mother's Day.  After all, my role in this documentary is about how a mom reacts to learning she has a transgender daughter and how being transgender impacts her daughter Annabelle's life, as well as that of the rest of the family.  I'm not going to get into all that here, as that is what we will cover in TransJourney.  

The following photo is that of me in the hospital nursery after Annabelle's birth in 1983.  She is in isolation because she was born with an unknown rash at the time that they thought might be contagious, thus the mask and gown.  It became a non-issue and she was totally fine.

As I've become more involved in the development of the TransJourney documentary, I found myself also getting more involved in LGBTQ issues.  I joined PFLAG and now I've recently been appointed to their Board.  First I was involved in President Obama's re-election campaign running phone banks from my home.  Then I was approached about helping out with RI United for Marriage to pass Marriage Equality in RI, which I'm proud to say we won!  We held meetings, phone banks and made calls to key senators to ultimately win Marriage Equality for all Rhode Islanders.  All of this has re-ignited an old interest in activism that had been smouldering deep within me for years since my early 20's.  It's a welcome feeling.  It's energizing and exciting; but I do have to remind myself it's 40 years later and my body doesn't always cooperate with my heart!

We've been working very hard to get TransJourney off the ground.  Fundraising is NO FUN!  But, we have to do it to be able to make this documentary film.  Shifting Visions Films is a very small non-profit documentary film company that gets its primary funding through donations and grants.  Production grants are few and far between; so right now we're mainly looking at donations; although we still have a couple of grants applications out there.  So, if any of you are so inclined, please check out our campaign on Indiegogo.  It's a Flexible Funding Campaign, which means we get whatever is donated.  Even a small donation helps us a few more miles down the road!  Check us out at:  TransJourney Indiegogo Campaign

The TransJourney Begins!

TransJourney explores three women’s personal journeys and the ways their lives have become intertwined and made stronger because of one another.  In 2009 Annabelle transitioned to her new life as a woman.  We will delve into her new world, gain insight into how her mother Sandra, who lives in Rhode Island, learns about this life-altering event and strives to remain an integral part of her daughter's life in Seattle -- 3,000 miles away! 

Annabelle came to know Shannon, an older transgender woman, through the meetings they both attended at the Ingersoll Gender Center in Seattle.  Shannon offered to talk to Sandra about any questions she had about caring for someone after reconstructive surgery.  Since then she and Sandra have become close friends, but have yet to meet one another in person.